Is jealousy a fair plotline when real people's live are involved?
Most dating shows throw a bunch of monogamous folks into a house to compete for dates. Despite the fact that contestants signed up to date in this environment.... jealousy always erupts. Often contestants will confront the person they're dating as if they are disrespectful... when in reality they're just playing the game.
This has always puzzled me because they almost never have agree to be exclusive by this point. And maybe I'm different, having grown up as an openly slutty girl, but like... aren't we supposed to assume that our love interests are dating others unless assumed otherwise?
shows are pushing unethical non-monogamy more and more
- Temptation Island, in which couples have come to a breaking point in their relationship. The show then splits up the couples for about 2 weeks, puts them in a house with ~sexy singles~ and viewers watch if they succumb to temptation. Weekly, the couples will go to a bonfire where they will watch (sometimes out of context) clips of what their partner is doing on the island.
- The Ultimatum, in which one person in the couple gives another an ultimatum — marry me or move on. They choose a trial spouse and live with them for three weeks, then move on to live with their previous partner for three weeks. The whole time, though, the couples spend time together while they're with their with their trial spouses. It's basically kitchen table polyamory... but, you know, worse.
- And one of the longest running dating shows, The Bachelor(ette), which truly capitalizes on the insecurity of men and women as they all pursue the same person.
is our mental health worth the risk of 5 minutes of fame?
Again, I love this shit. But, as I watch the constant breakdowns, fights and competitive aggression, I wonder if we need to consider the mental load here. Is it ethical for psychologists to be consultants for reality TV shows, not to just ensure that contestants are mentally stable enough to participate in the drama... but to also help casting directors choose contestants that will create the most amount of drama?
As you likely know, pursuing non-monogamy can be world shattering in the beginning. We're forced to confront all of the shoulds we've been told in the world, deconstruct the couple form, and unlearn so much compulsory monogamy. And, honestly, I think a lot of us don't acknowledge that there is a period of mourning an old relationship style, especially if you've opened up a long-term relationship. And this is all for people who are *choosing* non-monogamy.
Reality tv contestants are pursuing monogamous relationships, but they're participating in non-monogamy in such an insulated setting. It's happening in front of their faces. They're not working, they're not seeing their loved ones, and they can only confide in brand-new associates... who also tend to be their competition. There's no escape. Of course they're freaking out!
At the end of the day, we have to acknowledge that there are a lot of fucked up things about reality shows. The tactics are manipulative, contestants are poorly compensated while companies make millions and often sexual predators can slip through screening processes.
Few couples last after filming ends. This is often because they do not live in the same city, or returning to reality makes them realize they're incompatible. Cheating is usually involved, or shady behavior. But hey, most people don't really go on these shows expecting relationships to last. So who am I to judge?
